Ugly Bitch!

Never in my life has I ever perceive someone as ugly. But now, every time I see someone that might resemble her, or dress like her, or simply reminds me of her, I can only see ugliness. So ugly that I had to turn my head so as not to puke. No, not in the physique as I am no prejudice. But in the soul I know she possess.
Because only someone with a heart so ugly will ever hurt another woman. A woman whose only crime is to love the man who is hers.

A Plastic Heart

The heart I was born with was badly crushed. It was deemed useless because it kept on aching and aching. So I had a heart transplant. I had it replaced with a plastic heart. A fake heart. The kind of heart that has no feelings. Now everything is fake. A fake smile, a fake laugh. A plastic heart.

A Wife Should be Respected

There is this organisation called the Obedient Wives Club which came under fire recently due to their activities. According to them social ills such as prostitution, domestic abuse, etc were caused by wives who were not obedient to their husbands and failed to satisfy them sexually unlike “first-class prostitutes”. So, now they are offering courses to teach wives to become “first-class prostitutes”.
What the....??? Since when a wife's role is being degraded to the level of prostitute? Does giving a husband first-class service in bed the solution to such problems? Such stupid women!
What about men who are jerks? Who have no respect towards women? Who do not fulfill their responsibilities as husbands and fathers? Do you think by making them satisfied in bed would make them less being jerks and be respectful and be responsible?
For once, I'm not going to suggest anything. Why? Because this is a group of such narrow-minded and stupid women. You people can live in your own fantasies of solving problems by spreading your legs.

Music Video for American Market? What Crap!

I just have to write about this. There is this infamous music video being watched widely performed by a singer I have never heard before and directed by a guy I've heard only once or twice in some gossip columns. A Prema Yin Ranee and Gambit Saifullah. Err... who?
It is said to be too raunchy for the local audience. In response to the huuhaah, the director said, “The video is made for the United States market and not for local audience,” adding that it was for Malaysians to judge for themselves whether this was acceptable.
OMG, what kind of response is that? I have watched it a few times. Why? Not because it's good. Two reasons actually - 1. they shot the video in this very nice house - I lurve the deco; 2. it is such a horrible music video - passable vocal, the singer is a terrible dancer, the make-up and costumes so ugly, the storyline was so stupid - I watched it to get a good laugh :).
Anyway, a huge round of applause to them because the controversy really makes the song and the video so famous it has surpassed 300,000 views on YouTube. Excellent PR. Well, not due to good reasons but still... good one.

Curshed Heart...

This thing is killing me from inside. Many, many times I just want to run far, far away. To a solitary place by a beach where I can walk with waves crashing at my feet. A place where I can throw my crushed heart into the sea. And hope that a new heart will grow.
And be healed.

Giving It Another Shot

Happy times surpassed sad times. That's the basis of my judgement for giving this marriage another chance. I took 2 weeks leave from my marriage. Put my wedding ring on top of my jewelery box. And put on this - "whatever" attitude. I spent nights sitting in the garden looking at the stars. It was such a big decision. After almost a decade of being together, taking the break seemed liberating.
But there were many things that I missed. Our talks, our laughs, our worries, our happiness... I finally decided that the bitch was not worth it. If she was, my Cheating Husband would have left me for her.
That final night, I took my wedding ring and wore it back on my finger. My Cheating Husband saw it, took me in his arms and we kissed.
We are giving this a second chance...

Women Don't Find Happy Men Sexy

I just read this article that women don't find happy men sexy. Seriously? My first impression was - can't be! Women love men who can crack up jokes and make them laugh. Apparently, while "smiling is actually considered essential... when it comes to first impressions, women seem to prefer men who look either sullen or boastful".
Hmmm... maybe it's true.
Now we know why men perfume ads feature the male models looking so sullen so deep in thought, like they are actually thinking (hah!). I hate those kind of ads. As for me? I find men with a little smile really sexy...

On and Off!

It's an on and off thing. One day the ring is on, the next day the ring is off. I am a seriously undecided person. But love is a very strange thing. It's really difficult when love clouds your judgement. Yes, I very much love my Cheating Husband. And strange enough, I also hate him very much. At times, there is this fine line between love and hatred.

The Ring is Off - For Now

Even after 2 years, I have not forgotten. Forgive - yes. Forget - no. Maybe I am crazy. That I am being haunted by this ghost of a bitch years past. But I can't trust and love as before. Not after the painful betrayal.
So yesterday, I took off my wedding ring and put it on top of my jewellery box. It has since stayed there. I have no intention of wearing it back.

Flirting Makes You Feel Good!

One morning, a few days after I found out about my Cheating Husband's affair, I woke up feeling so energized and alive. I had set my mind that I was not at the losing end, he was. And those were the days when the Cheating Husband was desperately trying to woo me back.

On the way to the office, I stopped for gas. I was filling up the tank when a car stopped just opposite me and an attractive man, I think in his 40s, wearing a smart black suit came out. He fumbled with his keys, his mind obviously elsewhere and walked to the cashier, oblivious to the fact that I was watching him. I think he then realised that he was being watched, slowed his pace and looked at me. Our eyes locked. I didn't lower my gaze, as I would always do. I kept it 3-4 seconds longer than I should. Then, I slowly looked down and smiled.
Was it a flirt? I don't know! But I have not felt that sexy for ages (and ages). I finished filling up the tank, saw the man going back to his car, all the while aware that his eyes were on me. I didn't look up. But I kept that smile on my lips.
As I drove away, I saw him looking at my car from the rear view mirror. That felt great!!!

I Have to Move On...

This morning I watched the fishes swimming in our little pond, my left chest felt burning, my breath felt short... The fishes have only that little pond to think about. They don't have to think about life out of the little pond. They don't have to think about living, loving, being hurt, being betrayed... Things look easy.
But I'm not a fish. I have many things to think about and to act on. Things are tough. I wish I could stop but I have to move on. If I stop, things might fall apart. Maybe in many ways, I am just like the fish. I don't see them stopping. They swim all day.

What the Bitch Taught Me

Perhaps I am a born patient person. But I am still the broken-hearted wife. But one lesson I learned from this whole Cheating Husband and Stupid Bitch experience is - face the situation with pride and class. (That means no screaming or yelling or hair-pulling or throwing things out the window!)
And most importantly, know that you are never at the losing end. It's his lost, not yours.
Put that in your mind. That's my advise.

Love is Strange

Love is so strange. How can we love and hate a person at the same time?

Recipe: Simple Roasted Potatoes with Rosemary

Every time I cook this Simple Roasted Potatoes with Rosemary dish to accompany my Roasted Chicken, my little daughter would give me a 10/10 rating and thumbs up :).
Ingredients:
- 6 potatoes - peeled, quartered and cleaned
- 2 cloves of garlic - chopped
- a sprig of rosemary - chopped roughly
- 2 tablespoon of olive oil
- some butter
- salt and pepper to taste
Boil the potatoes with some salt. Just boil them half-way through. Then, drain the potatoes. In a bowl, mix 2 tablespoon of olive oil, some butter, salt, pepper, chopped garlic and chopped rosemary. Next, add in the potatoes and mix well. Using the spatula, just press the potatoes to crack them a little bit. Then, put in a baking dish and roast in the oven for about 20mins.
Delicious to be served with Roasted Chicken.

Amazing Junior Masterchefs!

I so very love seeing the kids at Junior Masterchefs Australia cook. The food they cook looks so yummy and delicious! And they are all very cute and adorable! And unlike other reality shows of grown-ups (like Masterchef and others where the contestants bitch about other contestants), these kids are so warm with each other. They support each other and have only good words about their competitors. Such a joy seeing these kids cook.
My favourite - Isabella. She churns out amazing looking food. And she's only 12. And I googled - she won!

Men Have Affairs Because Wives Neglect Duty?

Ibrahim Ali, a Malaysian MP, said that men have extramarital sex because of 'wives who neglect their responsibilities' to their husbands. He said, "Husbands driving home after work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges. But when they come home to their wives, they will say, 'wait, I'm cooking,' or 'wait, I'm getting ready to visit relatives'," Ibrahim said.
Oh my God, how many morons have we elected as MPs? Is that the reason why a man cheat? Because he comes home to a wife who's busy cooking for him and the family but can't stand the urges and find other women instead? How about the man's responsibilities to the family? Can't he help out the wife to ease the wife's burdens so that both of them can have quality time together later?
Such lame excuse to have an affair!

Too Much Sex in Newspapers?

Children should not read newspapers anymore, or watch news on TV. In Malaysia that is! There is too much news on sex lately. And I get really confused with the powers that be. The debate about teaching sexual education at schools have not really cooled down, but all the while the media have been partying with explicit news on rape, sodomy, and the latest - sex video of an opposition leader. Well, he's the one in the sodomy case also.
After having breakfast with my daughter the other day, I was paying at the counter of the restaurant when I saw my daughter looking curiously at that day's newspaper. And I had the shock of my life! There, smack on the front page were 3 photos taken from the sex video. The photos were blurry but clearly showed the purportedly opposition leader clad in a towel embracing a prostitute, also clad in a towel.
Look, I am a very open-minded person. I agree with the proposal to teach sexual education in schools because I would like the kids to know the consequences of sex before marriage, of STDs, of abortion, of dumped babies. But such photos on the front page is really not acceptable - morally and politically.

Why Red Daisy?

I was asked - why name this blog Red Daisy? Easy - I love red daisies. Red daisies are unpretentious. They are often associated with modesty and simplicity. Just like me! Daisies are not arrogant like roses. Red daisies also describe my broken heart. In the old days, heartbroken Victorian young women who wished to be loved once again by their suitors began a custom using the daisy, that is still in use today. In Victorian times is was a young maiden would pluck a daisy's petals one by one and sing, "He loves me, he loves me not," for each petal pulled. The last petal so plucked predicted the future of such love.
...Sigh... If only love is that easy!
The message that daisies bring are of innocence, purity, and gentleness on behalf of both the giver and the receiver. The daisy's message is, "You have as many virtues as this plant has petals". A red daisy tells of beauty unknown to the possessor.
Beautiful is it!

My Pillar of Strength

If you ever wondered who I turned to during that lowest moments of my life? = My precious little daughter who was just 7 years old at that time.
She was there for me to lend me her shoulders for me to cry on. She hugged and kissed me and told me her I-love-yous that made all my heartaches bearable. And most importantly, from the moment I could think straight (which was perhaps several hours later after I found out about the affair), I made a pact to myself.
I told myself - my life from then on will be for this little girl. And miraculously, this internal strength came back. The strength to live and to continue living. The strength to stand up and walk again.
From then on, I knew I was not alone. I have this little girl who needs me to care for her. And I have those little hands to help me through life.

Walk Up Stairs, Firmer Butt!

With my pedometer clasp on my waistband, I've been walking quite a lot lately especially going up and down the stairs at the office. Three flights up, three flights down. On average, I walk up and and down like 3-4 times a day. At least.
Though my weight has not shown much improvement, I can feel that my butt has become firmer. And just last night, I noticed that the cellulite that used to bother me a lot, has dramatically become smoother! Now, that's a huge achievement!
So, for you out there - forget the escalator or the lift, just walk up and down the stairs. Get the butt firmer!

Ops, Bung Did It Again!

It's not the first time that Malaysian MP Datuk Bung Mokhtar Radin created an uproar among women groups with his sexist remarks. About 2 years ago, in response to a female opposition MP during a debate about Parliament's leaking roofs, he said: “Where is the leak? (She) leaks every month, too.” After a week of being bashed up in the media by women groups, he apologised.
Yesterday, he again created news by making chauvinistic remarks about women drivers. He claimed that most women drivers were slow and paid little attention while on the road. “When you honk at them, they get agitated with some even showing hand gestures to other drivers,” he said in Parliament on Monday.
What is wrong with this guy? He doesn't have any respect towards women. He took a sexy young actress last year as his second wife, then got summoned to the syariah court for marrying without permission. See, he doesn't even have the guts to do it properly.
Can we even call this guy a "man"? No guts, no balls!

For the Sake of the Kids?

Someone named Watie wrote to me telling me her story being cheated by her husband. In short: a housewife who cooks and cleans, takes care of the kids, everything a good wife should and would do, and in the end found out that her husband is having an affair with his colleague. And the sad thing was, her husband creates bad stories about her to attract other women. She's now suffering in silence for the sake of her children.
My reply to her:
Dear Watie,
I can understand how you feel. I do feel that way sometimes, at times, all the time. Life can never be the same. Yes, women can be stupid at times. I was stupid too! But men are more stupid actually - for not appreciating what's there in front of them.
Once I was so down and depressed, but I finally believe that I am not at the losing end. It is his lost and not mine. I did leave him. Because I believe I am strong and I can live my life without a man who can't appreciate what a great wife I am. I can live on my own with my daughter. But my husband can't. He realised it in just a couple of days how his life would be if both of us walked out on him.
I'm not suggesting that you do what I did. But you must believe in yourself. And at one point, you need to think about yourself. That you are worth more than you think. I'm not the best person to comment actually because I am different and a little bit crazy :) And to top that, I am a bit of a feminist. Also, I watched too much Oprah! But I do pray you will find happiness. And I pray your husband will eventually realise what an amazing wife he actually has at home.

Go Green, Ways to Save Electricity

I might not be doing so much in my efforts to go green, but I always try whenever I can. My three tips in going green by saving electricity:
1) I always switch off the lights when I leave a room. And those that are not so necessary. In the mornings, the first thing I do is to switch off the light at the back of the house that we always turn on the whole night to light up the back lane.
2) I only wash full loads. I air-dry our clothes. I don't own a dryer. We get enough sunlight in this country to dry the clothes.
3) I always try to use the fan instead of air-conditioning. If the weather is too hot that we need to switch it on, I set the timer to 3-4 hours.

How Can We Ever Forget?

My life after the betrayal has been, what should I call it, "disturbed". I am not the kind to easily forget even though I easily forgive. I hate it when I wake up in the morning and the first thing that came to my mind is the bitch. I hate being the person who can't easily forget.
But one dear friend, another Cheated Wife, wrote this to me:
"I don't forget either. Because I believe that forgetting is not something one SHOULD do. Or should TRY to do. It's a natural process that happens when you are busy doing other things. And when 'other things' are done, one comes back to the memory... painful or otherwise.
However, I do forgive myself for being UNforgetful. I forgive myself for being human and for still hurting. I'm taking my own sweet time to heal.
I really think we should NOT forget. If we forget, we might make the same mistake - again. We might be betrayed - again. What happened was a lesson. So we learned. We don't forget".
We forgive but don't forget. Perhaps that's the curse of being the Cheated Wife.

Earth Hour

Earth Hour will be in 40mins time. Let's switch off electricity for just one hour. Let's sit in the dark with your loved ones and reflect. Let's go green in the many little ways that we can. The little actions do matter!
Like last year, I'll be sitting by our small fish pond with Hubby and talk. Or maybe not talk. Maybe we'll just sit and watch the fish. And listen to the water. At times, no talking is good. Silence is good. Enjoying each others' company in silence is good.
Being in love is good. Healing the heart, even slowly is good.

Why Men Cheat???

I've finished reading Man and Boy by Tony Parson. Nope, I still don't get the answer to my question: "Why men cheat?". It simply tells that men made mistakes. Easy huh? Just blame it on human flaws.
I still have not received any answer from my Cheating Husband on why he cheated. He simply said he's very very sorry, he made a mistake, it will never happen again and I will never understand why he did what he did.

So, why do men cheat?

Betrayal

My colleague came to me today with a damp tissue and tears streaming down her cheeks. She was sobbing and mumbling about her husband. I actually can't really understand what she was talking about between sobs and tears. But her story boils down to one simple fact that men seem to be so expert in doing - betrayal.
In her case it was about the husband borrowing money from his sibling and didn't pay back, and hid the act from his wife, and in the end that sibling asked the money back from the wife, accusing her of being the reason why the husband borrowed the money in the first place. This is the kind of story that I always hear about men. How selfish and insensitive they can be.

Man and Boy

No woman understands how a man thinks. Seriously. The Cheating Husband told me many times - he loves me very much but that I will never understand why he did it. He never meant to do it, it didn't mean a thing. Yup, I can never understand!
I'm now reading Man and Boy by Tony Parsons. In a way, the book is another version of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus - which I have yet to finish reading (I don't know, it's so academic and boring). Anyway, Harry, the character in Man and Boy, had a one-night stand and ended up being left by his wife. The book talks about Harry's point of view and though it does shed a bit of light about how men think and do the stupid things that they do, the real answer is never there. There is never the real reason for doing things.
Maybe there never is? I'm still reading the book. Let's see if there is an answer.

Why I Have Many Blogs!

To tell you the truth, this is my 4th blog. I started my first blog in 2005 and have regularly written ever since. It's my personal blog and the stories are mostly about me and my family especially about my daughter. I have quite a few followers there.

My second blog was supposed to be professional blog about my work ie being a consultant. My aim when I started it was to eventually convert the contents into a book. But it only lasted about 3 months. I seriously couldn't afford to spend time churning out professional and academic thoughts. It was so stressful!
My third blog was something I aimed at getting even at the other woman who almost destroyed my marriage. I was still recovering from depression and thought that a place to share experiences and stories with other women with similar experience would be good. That too didn't last long. There's so much I can bitch about the bitch.
This fourth blog is something I believe I will maintain - a place to write stuff about being a woman - the stuff I wouldn't fit in my first blog. A place where I can write without being recognised other than identifying myself as the Red Hot Daisy :)

Katy Perry Can't Sing!!!

Am I the only one who thinks Katy Perry can't sing?

The Women

I managed to watch The Women again at Star Movies. A star-studded all-female movie. Yup, no men! It's a movie about women, must be watched by women, and must be watched by men/husbands. I don't know if things would have turned out differently if I had watched this before.
The whole movie can be quoted beautifully and meaningfully. If you wonder how it feels like, Candice Bergen said it in its entirety and truthfully. I was taken aback when I first watched the part, like my feelings were stripped bare for the world to see. But it was how it first felt and you either fight to win, or crouched and lose. I wish no women will ever feel or experience it because the pain is too excruciating. But then, women are stronger than they think they are... surviving is a choice, so set your aim to win.
If you are curious on how it felt to be a cheated wife, here it is.
Candice Bergen to Meg Ryan:
"It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream, you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it's all out of your control. You can't trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again."

Soothing Cough Remedy

My doctor friend recommended this remedy to sooth my burning red throat. I drank the concoction for a week and surprisingly my cough got better.
 
Honey and Lime Drink

Juice from 1 lime/lemon
2 tablespoon of honey
1 mug of warm water

Mix well and drink twice a day!

Walk Off That Fat with Pedometer!

I know I'm not qualified to give fitness tips because my waistline still measures >34 inches. But ever since I have my pedometer permanently clipped at my waistband, I think I've toned up a bit. I have 5kgs to shed and I'm slowly trying walking to achieve my target.
To start, it doesn't really matter what kind of pedometer you buy really, as long as you can track your steps. Mine really is a cheap one because I just need to know my total steps and distance.
I read that 5,000 steps a day keeps you healthy and 10,000 steps a day makes you lose weight. 
Now, 3 simple tips to walk off that fat with a pedometer:
1. Minimise usage of emails, messaging and phone calls. I now walk to my colleagues' desks for short discussions. That simply earns me extra 250 steps a day.
2. Make a simple chart of your progress at the end of every day on your calendar. I feel so motivated at the end of each day and promise myself an extra 100 steps the next day. And if I found that the steps for the day are less than the day before, I would make up for that steps the next day.
3. Have a pedometer buddy. Compare your total daily steps with your buddy and get on a friendly competition. I bought my pedometer with a friend and we would text each other end of the day of our progress. Having a pedometer buddy can really be motivating!

The Wife is Always Prettier than the Bitch

The bitch whom my husband had an affair with is ugly and stupid. I believe that the other women is always ugly and stupid. True to my theory, I read recently that research shows that only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. In my case, the bitch is much much younger than I am but her breasts droop like she walks on this particular part of the earth with stronger gravity pull. How did I know? She sent dozens of her naked pictures to my Cheating Husband. And because she's so stupid, I now have all those pictures. What do I do with them? Still thinking.
Anyway, that research tells that men cheat not because of physical beauty but trying to fill up emotion void. In my case, I don't agree with it. Because how do you explain the Cheating Husband running over to me every time he has problems?

Bounce Back from Rock Bottom

How does one bounce back after hitting rock bottom? After I found out about my husband's affairs, I thought my life was over. I spent weeks being sad and depressed. I walked around like a zombie - living but dead inside. However, I was blessed to have a truly good friend. She picked me up from my state of daze, shook me out of my nightmare and nudged me to move on.
It was New Year's eve when she called saying she would come see me the next day. I was watching TV where they showed live telecast of fireworks display at midnight feeling so alone at one minute into the new year. She made me promise I would go to the gym the next morning, at the very same time she would be at her gym. She then came, picked me up and drove to a beach 45 minutes from my house. We spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on the sand, talking nonsense and watching the waves. We had a good laugh and a good cry. And we ended the day with sumptuous seafood dinner. 
Hitting rock bottom is painful but turning to a good friend for comfort can help you to bounce back. Have a good talk and a good cry. You have all the rights to be sad and depressed. However, you have to move on with life and a good friend will be able to hold your hand and provide a shoulder to cry on...

Declutter Your Desk, Declutter Your Mind

I believe that one's desk represents one's mind. A cluttered desk means a cluttered mind! I have a friend whose desk is so disorganised and full of stuff that it takes days to locate a document. Seriously, how can a person work with so many things on her desk? If you think your life is so messed up and screwed up, that nothing good ever happens to you, that other people seem so happy and full of life - everybody in this world except you - I have a very simple solution for you. Get rid of all the unnecessary stuff of your desk!!!
My rule of thumb is to have only 5 things on my desk at any one time. Only 5! If you have more, just spend 30 seconds to screen through your desk and get rid of that extra stuff. Deal with it later (but you must put time line to it!).

I can guarantee you a peaceful and productive time at your desk.

Yes, I Was a Cheated Wife

I'm not ashamed to admit it, I was a cheated wife. My husband cheated on me a couple of years ago. I have forgiven but not forgotten. And it still affect me till this day.

I still remember it clearly - the day I found out. It was early Saturday morning and I was on my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. My husband was asleep on the sofa after a late night of watching sports on TV. His mobile phone kept on buzzing. I picked it up, worried it might be an emergency, opened his messages and got the shock of my life.
I slumped on the kitchen floor not knowing what to do. My hands were shaking, I was blinking tears out of my eyes. How did this happen? There weren't any signs or were there? Perhaps I was blind. Maybe there were signs but I chose to ignore. I had so much faith in my husband, of him being faithful to me. After all, we have been married for almost 10 years and knew each other twice as long. We have a daughter together.
But the one thing that I never thought would happen to me actually happened. He cheated. He had an affair. I was the cheated wife.
And the other woman? Let's call her the Ugly Stupid Woman. For that is the kind of person she is - ugly and stupid. Till this day, she still is an ugly and stupid bitch.

New Bride? Good Luck!

I was driving home yesterday when I saw these lovely newly-weds by the roadside. They were stopping by some rough-looking grass area to take photos. That's the trend nowadays apparently - to take artistic looking wedding photos.
Anyway, as I pass by, I looked back at them from my rear-view mirror. The bride so radiant in her wedding dress, the groom so handsome looking down at his new wife with so much love. So young, so much in love... So naive, so inexperienced...

And I said to myself - "Good luck girl! I hope that guy is worth all the trouble!".