7 Sure Signs He's Cheating On You!

Trust your instinct. Trust your sixth sense. Here are seven sure signs that he's cheating on you!

1. He takes his phone everywhere. I mean, literally, everywhere. Even to the toilet.
2. He takes forever to reply to your messages.
3. He can't be reached for questionable hours and even he can be reached, he blames the phone - network not good, battery died, etc
4. He changes sexually. Either he's more into you, or he's not into you much anymore. And blames it on his medication!
5. He hides his credit card statements.
6. He's always hanging out with the guys. Yeah right!
7. He lies. You catch him lying. And he lies some more to cover that lie.

Shards of a Broken Glass

May your heart be crushed to pieces like the shards of a broken glass. Where you will struggle to piece them all together to no avail. And you will remember the other heart you so badly broken. Just like the pieces of glass in your hand.
You will fall apart and feel the pain.
And you will know that such pain can never be healed.

What It Feels Like When You Know About The Other Women

What a long title!

Men, do you want to know how a woman feels inside when she got to know about your affair?

I picked this up from the movie - The Women. It's the scene when Meg Ryan went to see her mother to tell her about her husband. She then brushed her mother saying she can't possibly know how she feels, and the mother said, "Let me try...".

This honestly tells how it felt when I got to know:
"It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream, you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it's all out of your control. You can't trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again."

Ugly Bitch!

Never in my life has I ever perceive someone as ugly. But now, every time I see someone that might resemble her, or dress like her, or simply reminds me of her, I can only see ugliness. So ugly that I had to turn my head so as not to puke. No, not in the physique as I am no prejudice. But in the soul I know she possess.
Because only someone with a heart so ugly will ever hurt another woman. A woman whose only crime is to love the man who is hers.

Giving It Another Shot

Happy times surpassed sad times. That's the basis of my judgement for giving this marriage another chance. I took 2 weeks leave from my marriage. Put my wedding ring on top of my jewelery box. And put on this - "whatever" attitude. I spent nights sitting in the garden looking at the stars. It was such a big decision. After almost a decade of being together, taking the break seemed liberating.
But there were many things that I missed. Our talks, our laughs, our worries, our happiness... I finally decided that the bitch was not worth it. If she was, my Cheating Husband would have left me for her.
That final night, I took my wedding ring and wore it back on my finger. My Cheating Husband saw it, took me in his arms and we kissed.
We are giving this a second chance...

The Ring is Off - For Now

Even after 2 years, I have not forgotten. Forgive - yes. Forget - no. Maybe I am crazy. That I am being haunted by this ghost of a bitch years past. But I can't trust and love as before. Not after the painful betrayal.
So yesterday, I took off my wedding ring and put it on top of my jewellery box. It has since stayed there. I have no intention of wearing it back.

What the Bitch Taught Me

Perhaps I am a born patient person. But I am still the broken-hearted wife. But one lesson I learned from this whole Cheating Husband and Stupid Bitch experience is - face the situation with pride and class. (That means no screaming or yelling or hair-pulling or throwing things out the window!)
And most importantly, know that you are never at the losing end. It's his lost, not yours.
Put that in your mind. That's my advise.

Men Have Affairs Because Wives Neglect Duty?

Ibrahim Ali, a Malaysian MP, said that men have extramarital sex because of 'wives who neglect their responsibilities' to their husbands. He said, "Husbands driving home after work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges. But when they come home to their wives, they will say, 'wait, I'm cooking,' or 'wait, I'm getting ready to visit relatives'," Ibrahim said.
Oh my God, how many morons have we elected as MPs? Is that the reason why a man cheat? Because he comes home to a wife who's busy cooking for him and the family but can't stand the urges and find other women instead? How about the man's responsibilities to the family? Can't he help out the wife to ease the wife's burdens so that both of them can have quality time together later?
Such lame excuse to have an affair!

My Pillar of Strength

If you ever wondered who I turned to during that lowest moments of my life? = My precious little daughter who was just 7 years old at that time.
She was there for me to lend me her shoulders for me to cry on. She hugged and kissed me and told me her I-love-yous that made all my heartaches bearable. And most importantly, from the moment I could think straight (which was perhaps several hours later after I found out about the affair), I made a pact to myself.
I told myself - my life from then on will be for this little girl. And miraculously, this internal strength came back. The strength to live and to continue living. The strength to stand up and walk again.
From then on, I knew I was not alone. I have this little girl who needs me to care for her. And I have those little hands to help me through life.

How Can We Ever Forget?

My life after the betrayal has been, what should I call it, "disturbed". I am not the kind to easily forget even though I easily forgive. I hate it when I wake up in the morning and the first thing that came to my mind is the bitch. I hate being the person who can't easily forget.
But one dear friend, another Cheated Wife, wrote this to me:
"I don't forget either. Because I believe that forgetting is not something one SHOULD do. Or should TRY to do. It's a natural process that happens when you are busy doing other things. And when 'other things' are done, one comes back to the memory... painful or otherwise.
However, I do forgive myself for being UNforgetful. I forgive myself for being human and for still hurting. I'm taking my own sweet time to heal.
I really think we should NOT forget. If we forget, we might make the same mistake - again. We might be betrayed - again. What happened was a lesson. So we learned. We don't forget".
We forgive but don't forget. Perhaps that's the curse of being the Cheated Wife.

Why Men Cheat???

I've finished reading Man and Boy by Tony Parson. Nope, I still don't get the answer to my question: "Why men cheat?". It simply tells that men made mistakes. Easy huh? Just blame it on human flaws.
I still have not received any answer from my Cheating Husband on why he cheated. He simply said he's very very sorry, he made a mistake, it will never happen again and I will never understand why he did what he did.

So, why do men cheat?

Man and Boy

No woman understands how a man thinks. Seriously. The Cheating Husband told me many times - he loves me very much but that I will never understand why he did it. He never meant to do it, it didn't mean a thing. Yup, I can never understand!
I'm now reading Man and Boy by Tony Parsons. In a way, the book is another version of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus - which I have yet to finish reading (I don't know, it's so academic and boring). Anyway, Harry, the character in Man and Boy, had a one-night stand and ended up being left by his wife. The book talks about Harry's point of view and though it does shed a bit of light about how men think and do the stupid things that they do, the real answer is never there. There is never the real reason for doing things.
Maybe there never is? I'm still reading the book. Let's see if there is an answer.

Why I Have Many Blogs!

To tell you the truth, this is my 4th blog. I started my first blog in 2005 and have regularly written ever since. It's my personal blog and the stories are mostly about me and my family especially about my daughter. I have quite a few followers there.

My second blog was supposed to be professional blog about my work ie being a consultant. My aim when I started it was to eventually convert the contents into a book. But it only lasted about 3 months. I seriously couldn't afford to spend time churning out professional and academic thoughts. It was so stressful!
My third blog was something I aimed at getting even at the other woman who almost destroyed my marriage. I was still recovering from depression and thought that a place to share experiences and stories with other women with similar experience would be good. That too didn't last long. There's so much I can bitch about the bitch.
This fourth blog is something I believe I will maintain - a place to write stuff about being a woman - the stuff I wouldn't fit in my first blog. A place where I can write without being recognised other than identifying myself as the Red Hot Daisy :)

The Women

I managed to watch The Women again at Star Movies. A star-studded all-female movie. Yup, no men! It's a movie about women, must be watched by women, and must be watched by men/husbands. I don't know if things would have turned out differently if I had watched this before.
The whole movie can be quoted beautifully and meaningfully. If you wonder how it feels like, Candice Bergen said it in its entirety and truthfully. I was taken aback when I first watched the part, like my feelings were stripped bare for the world to see. But it was how it first felt and you either fight to win, or crouched and lose. I wish no women will ever feel or experience it because the pain is too excruciating. But then, women are stronger than they think they are... surviving is a choice, so set your aim to win.
If you are curious on how it felt to be a cheated wife, here it is.
Candice Bergen to Meg Ryan:
"It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream, you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but it's all out of your control. You can't trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again."

The Wife is Always Prettier than the Bitch

The bitch whom my husband had an affair with is ugly and stupid. I believe that the other women is always ugly and stupid. True to my theory, I read recently that research shows that only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. In my case, the bitch is much much younger than I am but her breasts droop like she walks on this particular part of the earth with stronger gravity pull. How did I know? She sent dozens of her naked pictures to my Cheating Husband. And because she's so stupid, I now have all those pictures. What do I do with them? Still thinking.
Anyway, that research tells that men cheat not because of physical beauty but trying to fill up emotion void. In my case, I don't agree with it. Because how do you explain the Cheating Husband running over to me every time he has problems?

Yes, I Was a Cheated Wife

I'm not ashamed to admit it, I was a cheated wife. My husband cheated on me a couple of years ago. I have forgiven but not forgotten. And it still affect me till this day.

I still remember it clearly - the day I found out. It was early Saturday morning and I was on my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. My husband was asleep on the sofa after a late night of watching sports on TV. His mobile phone kept on buzzing. I picked it up, worried it might be an emergency, opened his messages and got the shock of my life.
I slumped on the kitchen floor not knowing what to do. My hands were shaking, I was blinking tears out of my eyes. How did this happen? There weren't any signs or were there? Perhaps I was blind. Maybe there were signs but I chose to ignore. I had so much faith in my husband, of him being faithful to me. After all, we have been married for almost 10 years and knew each other twice as long. We have a daughter together.
But the one thing that I never thought would happen to me actually happened. He cheated. He had an affair. I was the cheated wife.
And the other woman? Let's call her the Ugly Stupid Woman. For that is the kind of person she is - ugly and stupid. Till this day, she still is an ugly and stupid bitch.