Women Don't Find Happy Men Sexy

I just read this article that women don't find happy men sexy. Seriously? My first impression was - can't be! Women love men who can crack up jokes and make them laugh. Apparently, while "smiling is actually considered essential... when it comes to first impressions, women seem to prefer men who look either sullen or boastful".
Hmmm... maybe it's true.
Now we know why men perfume ads feature the male models looking so sullen so deep in thought, like they are actually thinking (hah!). I hate those kind of ads. As for me? I find men with a little smile really sexy...

On and Off!

It's an on and off thing. One day the ring is on, the next day the ring is off. I am a seriously undecided person. But love is a very strange thing. It's really difficult when love clouds your judgement. Yes, I very much love my Cheating Husband. And strange enough, I also hate him very much. At times, there is this fine line between love and hatred.

The Ring is Off - For Now

Even after 2 years, I have not forgotten. Forgive - yes. Forget - no. Maybe I am crazy. That I am being haunted by this ghost of a bitch years past. But I can't trust and love as before. Not after the painful betrayal.
So yesterday, I took off my wedding ring and put it on top of my jewellery box. It has since stayed there. I have no intention of wearing it back.

Flirting Makes You Feel Good!

One morning, a few days after I found out about my Cheating Husband's affair, I woke up feeling so energized and alive. I had set my mind that I was not at the losing end, he was. And those were the days when the Cheating Husband was desperately trying to woo me back.

On the way to the office, I stopped for gas. I was filling up the tank when a car stopped just opposite me and an attractive man, I think in his 40s, wearing a smart black suit came out. He fumbled with his keys, his mind obviously elsewhere and walked to the cashier, oblivious to the fact that I was watching him. I think he then realised that he was being watched, slowed his pace and looked at me. Our eyes locked. I didn't lower my gaze, as I would always do. I kept it 3-4 seconds longer than I should. Then, I slowly looked down and smiled.
Was it a flirt? I don't know! But I have not felt that sexy for ages (and ages). I finished filling up the tank, saw the man going back to his car, all the while aware that his eyes were on me. I didn't look up. But I kept that smile on my lips.
As I drove away, I saw him looking at my car from the rear view mirror. That felt great!!!

I Have to Move On...

This morning I watched the fishes swimming in our little pond, my left chest felt burning, my breath felt short... The fishes have only that little pond to think about. They don't have to think about life out of the little pond. They don't have to think about living, loving, being hurt, being betrayed... Things look easy.
But I'm not a fish. I have many things to think about and to act on. Things are tough. I wish I could stop but I have to move on. If I stop, things might fall apart. Maybe in many ways, I am just like the fish. I don't see them stopping. They swim all day.

What the Bitch Taught Me

Perhaps I am a born patient person. But I am still the broken-hearted wife. But one lesson I learned from this whole Cheating Husband and Stupid Bitch experience is - face the situation with pride and class. (That means no screaming or yelling or hair-pulling or throwing things out the window!)
And most importantly, know that you are never at the losing end. It's his lost, not yours.
Put that in your mind. That's my advise.